How to spend quality time with yourself without craving for companionship

It’s no lie that one of the biggest issues most youths are facing these days is the inability to enjoy their own company without craving the presence of others. Most people even equate being alone to being lonely and there’s no bigger lie than that.

As adults we should be able to spend quality time with ourselves, you do not only get to understand the person that you are but you also get to be sure of the kind of person you want to be with eventually.

Most youths these days just go with the “flow” in most aspects of their lives, even when it comes to choosing a romantic partner, I mean there’s nothing completely wrong with that but there’s nothing completely right in it either. As an adult you should be able to tell when someone isn’t worth your time, you should be able to say decisively that “this is not the kind of person I want to be with”. But it is a pain that some people will never be able to attain this and this is simply because they do not know themselves and when you don’t know yourself there’s no way you can add more value to your worth.

How can someone understand you when you don’t even know yourself?

Instead of craving the company of others all the time to keep you sane and happy, why not try to do things yourself? After all you’re your first best friend before anyone else. There are awesome ways you can spend quality time with yourself that will lead to self growth/development.

NOW LET’S GET STARTED.

LEARN A SKILL

I know when most of us see something like this we’re like “oh no, I can’t learn coding” or “I don’t think I can learn anything in tech”. You’re in the right place cause when I say learn a skill I’m not saying you should do something so serious or something that you’re not interested in just because it’s trending, but you should definitely dedicate your time learning something that you like and that can also make others respect you or want to learn from you.

One of the best things anyone can have is respect from others, not just people younger than you but also your peers and elders. you won’t get this respect by sitting around waiting for someone to come and make you feel good about yourself. No, you have to take it into your hands and turn yourself into a person that deserves respect from others.

If you love arts like painting or drawing you can try learning graphics designing or sketching online. There are some free ways to learn this.

1. Canva
2. Drawabox, line of action & ctrlpaint.
3. Logopit plus

If you love writing down your thoughts or reading in general, you can try learning a few things on copywriting even if it’s just the basics. You can get some really good tutorials on YouTube.

Skills like Hair styling, Makeup, Sewing and even knitting are amazing skills. If you have eyes for all of these you can always take time out of your day to learn a few things.

“The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you.” ― B.B. King

GET AN HOBBY

I know this might sound far-fetched but some youths do not have any hobbies, like zero hobbies. You ask some of them “what do you enjoy doing during your free time” and you see them racking their brains to come up with something and when they eventually do, it’s just so they have an answer to give and you can feel how they lack a personality.

This might seem like a trivial subject but not having a hobby is a major contributor to not knowing yourself. Because when you aren’t aware of the things you enjoy, you waste your days doing things for others and as time goes you realise you have no definite personality, cause your personality depends on who you’re with.

Ask yourself this question. What are my hobbies?

If you do not have one, you should try out the following steps;

1. You can easily transform what you already enjoy into a hobby. Do you like eating? Why not search up cooking videos on YouTube and start trying out some new recipes. Do you love listening to people talk? You can easily use their story to creating your own stories, either in a short story form or even a poem. The easiest way to find hobbies you love is to build off from the things you already enjoy doing.
2. Think about the things you used to love doing as a kid. This might seem funny, but as an adult, when you revisit the things you used to enjoy as a child you might end up finding solace in those hobbies which would further help you to appreciate alone time with yourself.
3. Challenge yourself: try out new things when you have the chance. Some people believe they can’t play table tennis when they’ve never even tried it. Others believe they can’t read a book without dozing off and they’ve never tried to read a short article. You can try out these things step by step and see if you would think differently.

Having Hobbies and acknowledging them makes a quality impact on your life and this is what this article aims to achieve.

WIDEN YOUR HORIZON

“If you don’t get out of the box you’ve been raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is. You might never find out you are useful for all the right reasons and not all those stupid things people tell you, you are useful for” – Angeline Jolie

You should always aim to learn more, feed yourself not only with food but with more knowledge. There’s no such thing as too much knowledge. Don’t just keep living in a bubble, always try to step out and learn more about the things happening around you. Be it Politics, Entertainment, Sport, Pop culture, literature etc.

These are things that make you an interesting person to hang out with. We can’t deny the fact that some people are boring and usually have nothing to contribute regardless of whatever conversation is ongoing. No one who is well learned will want to be with such a person.

Ask yourself. Do I always find it hard to join in on conversations?

Learn to read more: Most youths are quick to say “I hate reading” “I hate books, I rather watch movies”. But reading has it’s own benefits;

1. Vocabulary expansion
2. Strengthens your writing capability
3. Increases your imagination and creativity
4. Improves your concentration & memory
5. Empowers you to empathize with others

You can start reading with short novels, poems or books that relate to the things you’re interested in. We have books that help you understand the human mind more. Books that help you in whatever field you’re in. And also novels that help you escape from the harsh reality of life.

Reading isn’t the only way you can broaden your horizon. Meeting new people from different spheres of the world also helps. When you befriend and communicate with new people you learn more about their lives and the places they’re from.

Don’t forget to befriend the right people. Some people have no positive impact on our lives, we do not learn from them and neither do they learn from us, we just waste our time on them.

You can check out this app “Slowly” which you can use to write letters to individuals anywhere in the world. You can learn about other cultures and beliefs by communicating with others there.

DO FUN THINGS ALONE

You must be wondering by now “this writer must be a loner”. Trust me, I am not. But one thing is for sure, I can have a good time without the help of another person. Not everyone can say this cause most people have unconsciously placed their whole source of happiness on others. When they’re alone they equate it to being lonely.

Being alone doesn’t always have to mean you’re lonely. Being alone should mean that you’re not in the company of others.

How do I have an interesting day when I’m alone?

1. Learn a foreign language; Learning a foreign language broadens your horizons, makes you more employable globally, improves your communication skills with Foreigners and it can be fun if you’re someone who love to be bilingual.
2. Try working out; You don’t need to go to a gym for this. There are multiple home workout channels on YouTube and mobile applications that helps you with daily workout routines. Frequent exercises and good eating habits have been proven to reduce depression and improve health as well as boost self esteem.
3. Watch a movie either in the comfort of your home, or at a cinema; This way you get to see another version of the world or immerse yourself in a fictitious character/world. Movies are also good companions that teaches you a lot. You also stand the chance of becoming more versatile when you watch a lot of historical and documentary series and movies. Plus you get to be more conversational and understanding. E.g; Imagine someone who never saw Game of Thrones in a world where many references are made to the series.
4. Read a book; It could be novels, relationship books, philosophical books, etc. But make sure you don’t just stick to books or novels alone. Be versatile. Read books on personal growth, adulting, money management, politics, history, love, romance, etc.
5. Reflect on yourself; You should always take time out to think about the things you’ve done and the things you haven’t. It makes you understand yourself better.
6. Listen to music or podcasts; Make sure you understand the lyricism and sound. There is so much comfort in music and podcasts.

Instead of waiting on others, you should put some of these into practice and help yourself grow mentally, physically and emotionally.

Don’t waste your days craving the company of others that you forget to take some time out for yourself. Self growth is important because without it, we lose ourselves without even knowing when it happened and we live the rest of our lives in the shadow of others, easily influenced and easily broken.