There is absolutely no need for many explanations but I’ve realised that some of us do not understand paradox. So permit me to explain.
Paradox are self-contradictory statement, with underlying meanings of which is revealed only by careful observation and understanding. The purpose of a paradox is to capture attention and arouse fresh thought. The statement “Less is more” is an example. Francis Bacon’s (English Renaissance statesman and philosopher) saying, “The most corrected copies are commonly the least correct,” is an earlier literary example, because at the end of the day, the more corrections any work of writing gets, the more details lost in the process.
Let’s talk about some of life’s best paradox.
THE PERSUASION PARADOX
Have you noticed that the most argumentative people rarely persuade anyone? They just shout and make noise. Life isn’t a courtroom and even in a courtroom, you need to be persuasive.
The most persuasive people don’t argue—they observe, listen, and ask questions.
Argue less, persuade more.
Persuasion is an art that requires a paintbrush, not a sledgehammer.
THE EFFORT PARADOX
You have to put in more effort to make something appear effortless.
Michael Jackson was not the world best performer in a night, everything he achieved was a result of hard work and practice from his childhood, same goes to many great people you see out there.
Effortless, elegant performances are often the result of a large volume of effort, gritty practice probably behind closed doors.
Small things become big things. Simple is not simple.
TRUST PARADOX
People who are chronically insecure in their relationships are more likely to sabotage them. Because they think the worse about every companionship or whatnot.
Call it the Good Will Hunting syndrome, but one way people protect themselves from getting hurt is by hurting others first.
This is evident from many failed relationships if you look deeper than the surface.
THE WISDOM PARADOX
“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” — Albert Einstein
This use to be shocking to me until I started broadening my horizons, I realised at the end of the day – There was always something new I needed to learn.
The more you learn, the more you are exposed to the immense unknown.
This should be empowering, not frightening.
Embrace your own ignorance. Embrace lifelong learning.
THE GROWTH PARADOX
Growth takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you ever would have thought.
Growth happens gradually, then suddenly.
Don’t rush growth, allow it take as much time as it wants to.
When you realize this, you start to do things differently.
THE PRODUCTIVITY PARADOX
Work longer, get less done.
Doubt this? Go read interviews and books by Forbes Men & Women.
Get smarter.
Parkinson’s Law says that work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
When you establish fixed hours to your work, you find unproductive ways to fill it.
Work like a lion instead—sprint, rest, repeat.
THE SPEED PARADOX
You have to slow down to speed up.
Remember how in IP Man, Donnie Yen usually slows down and calculate his opponent’s move and weaknesses before trying to be fast and aggressive.
Slowing down gives you the time to be deliberate with your actions.
You can focus, gather energy, and deploy your resources more efficiently to the right path or parts.
It allows you to focus on leverage and ROI, not effort.
Move slow to move fast.
THE MONEY PARADOX
You have to lose money in order to make money.
Every successful investor & builder has stories of the invaluable lessons learned from a terrible loss in their career.
Sometimes you have to pay to learn.
Put skin in the game. Scared money don’t make money!
THE ICARUS PARADOX
Icarus crafted wings—but flew too close to the sun, so they melted and he fell to his death.
What makes you successful can lead to your downfall.
An incumbent achieves success with one thing, but overconfidence blinds them to coming disruption.
Beware!
THE FAILURE PARADOX
You have to fail more to succeed more.
Failure to champions usually build them faster and stronger than anything else, an example is the comeback of many olympic athletes after an injury.
Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team. But look at where his legacy is today.
Our greatest moments of growth often stem directly from our greatest failures.
Don’t fear failure, just learn to fail smart and fast.
Getting punched in the face builds a strong jaw.
Success comes from improvement and improvement comes from failure. There’s no shortcut around it.
DIFFICULTY PARADOX
When we expect something to be difficult, we often unconsciously make it more difficult.
For instance, for years, I assumed starting a conversation with a lady was something that was “difficult.” As a result, I spent a lot of time strategizing and studying ways to relate to Women I didn’t know.
Little did I realize all I had to do was say “Hi” and then ask a simple question or talk about anything reasonably random; that would get me 90% of the way there. But because it felt hard, I proceeded to make it hard for myself.
Same goes for making money, which I already covered in this Post.
THE TONY ROBBINS PARADOX
In investing, the willingness to admit you have no competitive advantage can be the ultimate competitive advantage.
Don’t be foolishly confident, it never pays, always try as hard and smart as someone who has zero advantages.
Strong self-awareness breeds high-quality decision-making. Foolish self-confidence breeds nothing of use.
Be self-aware – act accordingly.
THE SHRINKING PARADOX
In order to grow, mostly after a toxic or very negative experience or circumstance; you might need to shrink.
Growth is never straightforward.
Casting off deadweight may feel like a step back, but it is a necessity for long-term growth. You’ll move on.
One step back, two steps forward is a recipe for consistent, long-term success.
MOMENTO MORI PARADOX
Memento mori is a Latin phrase meaning ‘remember you must die’.
‘Memento Mori’ is a Stoic reminder of the certainty and inescapability of death.
The more afraid you are of death, the less you’ll be able to enjoy life.
It is not intended to be morbid; rather, to clarify, illuminate, and inspire.
Death is inevitable. Live while you’re alive.
THE SAY NO PARADOX
Take on less, accomplish more. Don’t try to do everything at once.
Giacomo Casanova did not focus his attention on multiple women at once – when he is having a thing with one, instead He gave his best to one at a time. Serial womaniser but intelligent.
Success doesn’t come from taking on everything that comes your way.
It comes from focus—deep focus on the tasks that really matter.
Say yes to what matters, say no to what doesn’t.
Protect your time as a gift to be cherished.
THE TALKING PARADOX
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus
If you want your words and ideas to be heard, start by talking less and listening more.
You’ll find more power in your words.
Talk less to be heard more.
People rarely pay more attention to someone who talks unnecessarily while others are talking. Reasons why everyone would want to hear the quiet guy talk when he wants to.
Make sure your words or writings are always weighty.
THE CONNECTEDNESS PARADOX
More connectedness, less connected.
Despite being in more constant communication than ever, research finds an increase in loneliness and depression in the developed world over the past few decades.
We’re constantly connected, bombarded by notifications and dopamine hits.
But while we have more connectedness, we feel less connected.
Put down the phone. Look someone in the eye. Have a conversation. Breathe.
THE TALEB SURGEON PARADOX
Looking the part is sometimes the worst indicator of competency.
Imagine walking into a hospital and you see two surgeons; one with blood stains all over and another with a clean look. Who would you rather choose?
The one who doesn’t look the part has had to overcome much more to achieve its status than the one from central casting.
If forced to choose, choose the one that doesn’t look the part.
THE LOOKING PARADOX
You may have to stop looking in order to find what you are looking for.
Have you noticed that when you are looking for something, you rarely find it?
“The fact remains that the best way to find a sexual relationship — committed or otherwise — is by not needing a sexual relationship to be happy and investing more in yourself.” – Mark Manson
Stop looking—what you’re looking for may just find you.
Applies to love, business, investing, or life in general.
THE CONSTANT CHANGE PARADOX
“When you are finished changing, you are finished.” — Benjamin Franklin
The only constant in life is change.
Entropy is reality.
It’s the one thing you can always count on—the only constant.
Embrace it—be dynamic, be adaptable.
THE CONTROL PARADOX
More controlling, less control.
We have all seen or experienced this as children, partners, or parents.
The most controlling often end up with the least control.
Humans are wired for independence—any attempts to counter this will be met with resistance.
THE FEAR PARADOX
The thing we fear the most is often the thing we most need to do.
Fears—when avoided—become limiters on our growth and life.
With the exception of genuinely life-threatening or physically harmful activities, our fight-or-flight response kicks in when we’re confronted with past traumas or actualizing the self we dream of being.
Example: speaking to a crush, cold-calling someone to get a new job, public speaking, starting a business, acquiring a new skill, saying something controversial, being painfully honest with somebody, etc.
These are all things that make you scared, and they make you scared because they are things that should be done.
Take the leap (metaphorically!)—you may just find growth on the other side.
